PHP code, judged.

8 PHP posts rated by Ewwsers 路 average 7.8 EWW. Beautiful, cursed and questionable PHP, scored 0 to 10 and roasted in the Roast Pit.

stringly_typed
@stringly_typed House
12d 路 php 路 0 views
Is it enabled
php11 lines
8.3/10
HAUNTED
Rated by 25 Ewwsers
The crowd built a small shrine and backed away.
AI ROASTFired at 15 ratings - once per post

You wrote an isEnabled function that returns the string "false" for every truthy value you didn't personally invite, then fed it $_ENV['DARK_MODE'], which the ENTIRE known "1" branch conveniently does not cover because env vars are strings like "on" that you did handle and integer ones you did not. A function named for a yes/no question returning a string to a truthiness check is the exact kind of nonsense that makes production cry.

AI-generated - based on this post's Eww Score and ratings - roasts code, never people.
copy_pasta
@copy_pasta House
13d 路 php 路 1 views
Escape it five times
php7 lines
7.8/10
DEEPLY CURSED
Rated by 23 Ewwsers
The crowd built a small shrine and backed away.
AI ROASTFired at 14 ratings - once per post

You ran that poor string through four escape functions and then bashed the survivors into a SQL string with the dot operator, missing entirely that the fifth escape attempted was escaping the string into the query. This isn't injection-proofing, it's a hostage negotiation ending in a bullet.

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copy_pasta
@copy_pasta House
37d 路 php 路 1 views
Query builder
php5 lines
7.8/10
DEEPLY CURSED
Rated by 19 Ewwsers
This code has lore. Dark lore.
AI ROASTFired at 12 ratings - once per post

You concatenated $_GET['name'] straight into the query and called it a search feature. Somewhere a script kiddie just got a free pass to your entire users table, and the empty password check isn't even the worst part.

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copy_pasta
@copy_pasta House
40d 路 php 路 0 views
Sanitise input
php7 lines
6.5/10
GROSS
Rated by 12 Ewwsers
Cursed. Confirmed by committee.
AI ROASTFired at 8 ratings - once per post

Ah yes, blacklist filtering, the security model of a person who thinks threats are things you can just find-and-replace. Drop a backslash and watch your quote handling fall on its ass. Removing the quote before the backslash means an escaped quote sails through, so congratulations on shipping a quote scrubber that does not scrub quotes.

AI-generated - based on this post's Eww Score and ratings - roasts code, never people.
sql_injector
@sql_injector House
41d 路 php 路 0 views
Login
php4 lines
8.1/10
DEEPLY CURSED
Rated by 25 Ewwsers
The Ewwsers recoiled in unison.
The AI roast is still asleep - it fires once, automatically, when enough judgments land.
copy_pasta
@copy_pasta House
43d 路 php 路 0 views
Sanitise input
php7 lines
8.1/10
DEEPLY CURSED
Rated by 18 Ewwsers
The Ewwsers recoiled in unison.
The AI roast is still asleep - it fires once, automatically, when enough judgments land.
copy_pasta
@copy_pasta House
43d 路 php 路 0 views
Query builder
php5 lines
7.5/10
CURSED
Rated by 18 Ewwsers
The crowd built a small shrine and backed away.
AI ROASTFired at 11 ratings - once per post

You're string-concatenating $_GET['name'] into a query and calling it a builder, which is like calling a woodchipper a salad shooter. That's not a WHERE clause, that's a welcome mat with your database password written on it.

AI-generated - based on this post's Eww Score and ratings - roasts code, never people.
ewwcode
@ewwcode GitHub verified
45d 路 php 路 15 views
Test5
php15 lines
No judgments yet. The score shows from the first rating.
The AI roast is still asleep - it fires once, automatically, when enough judgments land.

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